by Norma Dillingham and the Brotherhood/Sisterhood of Light
Being in love does not always work out the way we hope that it will. This can lead us to feelings of heart-wrenching loss, disappointment, and confusion. We do our best to glean what we can from the experience as life continues to move us along to the next opportunity to discover yet another bit of self-realization. This is the nature of our existence.
Just as we feel exhilaration in knowing great love in our lives, the opposite can be true as well. We can equally feel the pain of loss, loneliness, and disappointment. Knowing that this is true does not free us from the emotional depths that can be such a part of great loss. Pain is the result, whether our loss relates to death, a conscious decision to leave a relationship or having a partner who no longer desires to have a relationship with us.
When we face such loss it can feel as if a part of our self is missing. Many of us have spent years sorting through our feelings and attempting to learn to accept the changes that have come to our lives as a result of such loss. This is a tremendous challenge. It can leave us with a sense of failure, guilt and confusion as to what went wrong in addition to the pain of loss.
If the hurt and disappointment are deep enough we sometimes wonder how we will survive. We do not understand why or how we created this experience in the first place. We may want to blame what we cannot understand or the person or persons who are a part of our painful situation. We may wonder why life has betrayed us so cruelly. We are doing everything that we know to do and we still find ourselves caught in a situation that seems unbearable. Where do we look for the reason this has happened?
We can doubt ourselves. We might wonder if we have the wisdom to see clearly enough to make wiser choices regarding relationships in the future. After all, if we could be so wrong about what we have created, we wonder how we can hope to build something better in the future.
Many times I have called on The Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Light, my beloved Spirit Teachers, for understanding and comfort in situations involving relationships of various kinds. Following is some of the gentle and compassionate counsel that they have given to me.
You recognize only the very surface aspect of your consciousness. You really make choices far more from your hidden Self “that which knows exactly what you want to comprehend through your life experiences.
Often you choose relationships in order to see the other side of something that you experienced in a past situation. This can be something that you remember having experienced or it can be hidden from your conscious awareness altogether. You choose another who is willing to play the part needed for you to gain that completion and for them to gain what they endeavor to learn. Neither of you will likely even suspect that this is what you are doing.
Most often you will attempt to form the relationship around what you believe to be the perfect relationship as determined by your beliefs or by social mores. This only begins to address what you are really doing together. Attempting to create the perfect relationship based upon social conditioning can be a recipe for disappointment because it is based upon incomplete and unclear understanding of your purpose together.
Even so, there is no lack of wisdom in anything that you choose, ever! True wisdom comes with the recognition of whatever is hidden from your conscious awareness until it is brought out into the light for you to see clearly. Strongly relating with another individual is the most powerful way to bring from the hidden depths of your being whatever is in need of being completed, understood, released, or altered.
Remember that we have told you often that relationships are embraced for each to be a clear mirror for the other. This is invaluable service each for the other because it offers a consistent opportunity for recognizing what one is projecting often completely hidden from the individual. This is love.
You generally perceive being in love as real and ultimate love. In fact affection is only the emotional aspect of loving. Absolute love is in no way based upon the emotions. Love is the recognition and honoring of the ultimate divine perfection and inherent value of another, no matter what. Real love lasts forever, even if a relationship does not. There are no limits on love. Love does not only exist in specific relationships. It does not die, and it does not imprison. Is simply is.
Those of you who inhabit Earth at this time are working diligently to complete many, many experiences. You perceive yourselves as Earth Humans, when in fact you are multi-dimensional, multi-faceted beings of such magnificence that it is difficult for you to comprehend the limitless nature that is your True Self.
Whatever you do, think, feel, decide, or long for is a result of a desire for fulfillment, completion, or understanding of some kind. When you chose to manifest in Human form, you did not cease to be Spirit, Light, or Divine Intent. You chose to be exactly who you are because this personal identity holds within it opportunities for greater clarity and wisdom. The very genetic structure that you hold as an inheritance carries within it the keys to what you are doing here and why.
Some do not long for a mate. This is usually because there is such a driving desire to complete something as an individual that the energy is best used without the need to share the self as a life partner.
Many of you feel a tremendous longing for a mate. For those who hold this longing, the sense of need can be quite overwhelming at times. Our purpose is to help you to understand the value of relating with each other, knowing that relationships have a meaning and purpose for all concerned. They are not necessarily intended to be a part of your lives for the remainder of your lifetime.
When you enter this realm of existence you do so with a comprehensive plan. You choose to meet certain souls that you know and love. You plan together what you will attempt to accomplish when you are together. This is sometimes quite easy to follow and sometimes it is extremely difficult. Your purpose together may well be to help each other to a certain point of personal realization and then move on into other experiences.
In preparation for your current life you have made agreements or what you might call contracts to come together with others in various situations in order to accomplish certain things. Either or both of you can honor a contract and hold to its agreements or you can set it aside. If you change your intent, you will forego the gifts that were inherent in that opportunity in exchange for the gifts that you receive from what you choose to experience instead.
If one person chooses to honor the contract and the other chooses not to do so the partner who has chosen to honor the agreement may feel abandoned or betrayed. It is in this circumstance that the greatest degree of confusion and disillusionment often occurs.
There are many, many relationships that are designed to complete or create together only very specific things and are then destined to dissolve so that the two souls may move on to other chosen opportunities for greater self-realization and empowerment. These souls hold a very clear and pure love for each other and trust each other to help them on their path to the extent that the particular personalities may help. Then they trust each other to simply move on to the next step. This is wisdom. Some relationships can last for only moments. Others can last for a lifetime. This depends on what the two souls can learn and share together.
There is so much more that could be said about this, Little One, but it is best that you contemplate what we have given you for a time. The most important thing for you to remember is that there is no mistake, foolishness, or lack of purpose in any relationship, no matter how that relationship shows itself to you. The value is in coming together and fulfilling your purpose with one another.
You are in this world with purpose and meaning to your very existence. This involves every aspect of your Whole Self - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. And every aspect of your being is equally valuable and important. Never attempt to place greater value on one level of Self. You are a whole being and every part of that being is an integral part of your chosen path in this life. This is pure and perfect truth.
And so it is.
Listen to Norma talk about the after life on Blog Talk Radio: